”“Lavi the Licker, yes I know. Cheerleader mothers are every bit as bitchy and catty as their daughters, thank you.”I grimaced and let the silence return.After another shot, Syliva said, “I really want to rip your fucking balls off you know.”“You do?”“I’ve been pissed all morning.”“Assuming I was manipulating and doing things to your daughters?”“Something like that.”“You do know that Lavi, and Melissa for that matter, are too smart for that kind of thing don’t you?”“I’m not sure about Melissa when it comes to you.” She eyed me.“I think the world of Lavi but trust me she doesn’t feel that way about me.”“No, but I don’t trust her judgment when it comes to Melissa if she thought it would make her happy.”“Well, that is what she’s trying to do, make Melissa happy. And herself.”“And you’re just along for the ride?” There was a sneer in her voice.“Feels that way but no.” This was hard to say but I had to. It was easier to think of it as something I couldn’t control but that wasn’t true. “I. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.Ring fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.Bathing a Cat Cat – Plan "A"A. Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield..
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